Sitting, waiting, and wishing

I sincerely regret downing a Venti-sized Extra Coffee Caramel Frappe at Starbucks around 10PM.  It's already 3AM and I still can't sleep.  As for the calorie content, I tried not to think about it, since I would only feel worse. :)


Rawr! Feels like my brain's all abuzz about something.  So, to put it into good use, I'll just continue writing articles. So, write away Speed RAcer! 

Our Easter Sunday was greatly altered as we were greeted by the news:

Zendy Jacildo, a high school friend, was shot to death last April 23 in New York.

It is appalling that such a thing happened to her.  Murdered a few steps away from the house.  Unable to scream for help anymore.  These thoughts continue to circle  my head, and it has kept me awake and disturbed.  I could only pray that the pain didn't last long.  When you think things like this only happen in the movies, one blows up right in your face.

It's just horrible to know that somebody could be taken away so abruptly.  Zendy was a good friend. We were not close during our high school days, but she was one of those people who never failed to greet you in the hallway with a vivacious smile.  During the times when we would hang out with other batchmates, she would never fail to elicit some laughs from us when she did her antics.  Another thing that I cannot forget is her husky voice.  I always liked watching her dance, somewhat like the Energizer bunny, all bubbly and vibrant.

Yesterday afternoon, our batchmates met at Cafe Bob's to plan out some things.  The situation itself was bittersweet.  The atmosphere was very surreal, somewhat like waking up underwater.  It was bittersweet because we got to meet up again, but at the expense of Zendy's life.  I still cannot fathom why it had to happen.  God has His reasons, and I know that in due time, He will reveal the reasons why He had to take her away. Her death still seems so unreal though, but we still grieve.

I know that you're in a better place Zends.  We might have lost you here on earth, but we've certainly gained an angel in heaven.  God, thank You for giving us Zendy.  Thank You for the time You granted us to be with her.  I offer my condolences most especially to Zendy's family and friends.  We shall miss you Zendy.  We love you.

Zends, I don't have any picture of you, so I just copied this off your FB. This is probably how I will always remember you, all smiles, beautiful, and vibrant. You're in God's hands now. :)

For the first time since my resignation, I went back to my old working place: Vision English Learning Center.  Funny how everything seemed the same, yet so different.  For one, I wasn't a teacher any longer.  As a matter of fact, one of my ex-colleagues talked to me in passing while I stared at her while holding back my laugh.  She suddenly stopped and stared at me, shocked. Hahaha! :)


Everything was the same, Teachers David and Maria in their respective group class rooms.  The myriad of voices and murmurs from the cubicles. A laugh here, a shout there. The same old whirring of the fans and the air conditioners. It got me thinking, "I was once part of this".  But now, it's different.  A sense of nostalgia passed through me as I watched some of the students who were my students before.  Some have become good friends.  And of course, I will never forget my dear co-teachers who were very good "Ates" to me.

Yes, Ruby *shudder*.. Or else, be Aiza (2)!

Out of curiosity, I went inside while
everybody was still having class.  I sneaked in (with permission from the secretary) and checked if my former room was occupied.

My little room... Stripped  bare... Well, almost :)

I don't know why but a sense of relief came over me when I saw it wasn't occupied yet.  I stealthily (hahaha) went out and resumed waiting for my former boss.






Most of the people were very suprised that I was back in Vision.  Some students even asked when I will teach again. I only went there to get my last salary.

All my bags are packed.. I'm ready to go...

So, everything today was from a visitor's point of view.  The same old feeling, the same environment, but then, things have changed ever since I stepped out for the last time as a teacher.

The hallway. A view from my room.

The pictures posted were taken on April 8, my official last day in Vision.  I couldn't bring myself to take pictures with everybody.  I hate goodbyes and this was one chapter I had to bring myself to before I could go on with my life.  Life in Vision was good, but I know there's something out there for me, something that God has planned beforehand.  I can feel it :)




So, Big Guy, where am I headed next? :)

3 days since I started my home-based article writing stint full time and I'm running out of ideas.  Major *gulp and panic* mode. It freaks me out when I sit in front of my netbook and nothing seems to come out.  No clickety-clack of the keys as I type away.  Nada. 


LORD, I NEED A GOOD DOSE OF INSPIRATION.  Help!