Sitting, waiting, and wishing: Remembering Sr. Bernie

Remembering Sr. Bernie

Posted in 1:42 AM

This is my first ever blog entry and I have to apologize that the topic is a little bit dismal.

This was the status message that greeted me yesterday on my news feed in Facebook. I had to re-read the post a few times, thinking I might have misread it. Sr. Bernie passed away. Sr. Bernardita Bernas, OSB, our high school principal passed away. I felt numb and desolate. Quoting from a friend's tweet,

Another crashing reality that we are all growing up is when the people who have been our mentors are leaving us to be our own mentors.

She was one of those people who never seemed to grow old. I shall never forget her signature pose, her eyeglasses, and her contagious laugh. She taught me a lot of things that weren't taught inside the four corners of the classroom. The last time I saw Sr. Bernie was during our high school graduation back in March 2005. I utterly regret not having my picture taken with her. I will never forget how she smiled during the ceremony.

The first time I laid eyes on Sr. Bernie was when I started high school. The SB Building, the home of the high school students, was her demesne. I remember being scared of her back then, she looked so strict. But in the end, she turned out to be the best principal we ever had, a cool and loving mentor to all of us.

I don't have a lot of memories about her that I could really boast about, but I have a handful which I really cherish until now. As a way of cherishing memories of her, I want to record them here in my blog.

The Cebu field trip

This would always be one of the funniest memories I have of Sr. Bernie. We had a meeting with her regarding the proposed Cebu-Bohol field trip of the juniors and seniors. Our governor, Marianne (am I right??), presented the different benefits that we would have if we had a field trip. The proposed itinerary was also presented. After our gov's speech about "getting in touch with history blah blah blah", Sr. Bernie wittily answered,

"Asus, history-history! Ba't di na lang kasi sabihing because of the Sacred Heart boys!" (this isn't the exact reply she said, but the gist is the same)

She laughed after saying that, and we all followed. And guess what? She approved of our trip!

Trip to the Principal's Office

During our Senior Year, Sr. Bernie announced that before we graduate, if we wanted to talk to her about something (problems and such), we were free to set an appointment with her. We were curious as to what was inside her office or the conference room, so we (some friends and I) decided to set an appointment with her. When our group was called to meet with Sr., we didn't have an inkling as to what we were supposed to talk about. When she asked us, "O, what do you want to talk about?", we merely smiled at her. I could still remember my heart hammering so hard in my chest because I was so nervous. When she found out we didn't exactly have problems to talk about, I was afraid that she might get angry. I was actually waiting for the line "You are wasting my time." We were all surprised when she simply sighed and said, "Sige, let's tell stories na lang." This was really an amazing moment for us. The "strict principal" persona suddenly changed into that of a motherly person. She told us stories of how she and her sister fought, and she even told us about her love life before entering the convent :) Who would've guessed that a nun who had to run a high school would find time to talk to a bunch of girls who wanted her attention? At that moment, I admired and loved her even more.

Flowers for Sr. Bernie

I can't remember exactly who and when our class (or was it our batch??) gave a bouquet of flowers to Sr. (I think it was either before or after our graduation) As a token of our appreciation and love for her, we decided to give her flowers. When we approached her office in the SB building, I could remember her pose, hands on hips and saying, "What's this?" I forgot who exactly said something about saying thank you, but we were all tears after giving her the flowers, including Sr. Bernie herself.

The Batch Recollection

In SSA, recollections were held by section. But our batch was a close-knit one, and we requested that we had a batch recollection, before we went our separate ways (pre-college is hard!). Sr. Bernie gave in and gave us one of the most memorable recollections ever. She invited the USLS CELAM Praisers (of which I became a member) to lead us. And much to our surprise, she prepared a little something for us, a cute Scholastican pin for everyone!

The Scholastican pin (beside my ID)

NOPSSCEA

St. Scholastica's Academy is known for competing in the NOPSSCEA. I've competed in other contests before, but the last time I entered (Junior or Senior year, I forgot!!) would forever imprint Sr. Bernie as one of my heroes.

I was blessed (but honestly, I didn't feel blessed at all!) to have represented the school for the Vocal Solo OPM category. When the winners were announced, my number wasn't one of them. Resigned, hurt, and disappointed, I got up from my seat and walked towards my family. I was really surprised when Sr. Bernie, who watched the contest, came up to me and engulfed me in a big hug. I will never forget the words she told me.

"You were great, Aiza. You might not have won today, but you will always be the winner for me, for us. Talbog ang lahat. Okay? It's not the end."

I've had my share of losses, and everyone of them left me a little bit more depressed. But this time, my spirit felt a sense of hope. I was dumbfounded, and I could only nod my head and say a soft "Thank you Sister." Her words were enough to soothe my aching heart and ego. She smiled, patted my cheek and hugged me tight again.

I shall always remember Sr. Bernie as the woman who inspired me to move on, to be stable. Like a mother, she taught me that whenever I fail, it's not the end. All I have to do is to dust myself off and try again. She taught me to have more faith in God and in myself as well. Quoting the message she wrote in our yearbook,

Some trees stand firm because their root systems are set deep in the earth providing the trees not only with nourishment, but also with the suppleness that allows them to bend and sway, but not snap. I want all of you to grow strong like such trees... I thought of you and all the big and small personal "storms" you have shared with me. And I prayed hard to God to make you all His "special trees" - strong, unwavering rooted deeply in Him.

Sr. Bernie is the ultimate model of the special tree she wants us to be.
Sister, I know that you're in God's hands now. We will surely miss you. You've been a great inspiration to us. We love you!